Meeting men hasn’t been all bad, there have been some positive experiences meeting people too. I went for an Italian Soda with a man named Theodore. So cute, just like high school kids. He was very muscular and hard ass looking. I was really thrown off by his voice because it was high pitched like a chipmunk. His Pitbull was the cutest. It was so nice to meet a good human but unfortunately there was no chemistry there with him. After Theodore I hit it off really well at first with a man named Satan. We went out a few times, we both had a similar sense of humour which was amazing because I live for laughter. We had some great laughs together. I was really enjoying talking and spending time with Satan but then things got awkward because we weren’t on the same page.

I am taking  my time with meeting people, I won’t  rush into a relationship with just anyone. He has to be the right person for me. One non negotiable that matters to me the most is knowing that I will be treated right by the man I am with and knowing this takes time to unfold. I felt a sense of real panic when Satan wanted to get off line with me. I don’t know why I felt so terrified but I truly did. There was something about him that just wasn’t sitting right with me and I could not pin point what it was. I was still willing to spend time with Satan but moving slow was necessary because I needed to feel good about things and move at a natural pace. Satan became really upset with me when I told him I wanted to take my time getting to know him. He told me he was going to be busy and that he will only have time to text me from now on but no phone calls. He thinks he is a business man. Soooo Busy. I told him the truth about how I was feeling. I told him that something didn’t feel right. Should I have told him that ? We all know the issues I am working on with expressing my feelings. Satan did not receive my honesty very well, His response was “well then maybe I should delete you ”

.

Satans Anger made me feel unsafe and this was not how I wanted to feel or be treated so I just deleted him and moved on. Satan made the mess so he could clean it up if  he chooses to do so or not, either way was fine with me. My intuition knew he was not right for me before my logical mind did. He wanted to move a lot faster than I wanted to and he was mad at me when I said I wanted to work on a friendship first. I didn’t want to get off line. I wanted to continue meeting people to see what is out there. I need this time to explore because I am learning more about myself and about what I need. I am so independent and don’t need anything specific from a person but when it comes to relationships I have realized I actually do need certain things from a man if I am going to be with him. I am learning about what I like and don’t like. I am learning how to communicate my feelings and even though Men receiving my messages are ending in disaster , I am still getting  “betterish” at communicating. Why give up now ? if  I can’t be best friends with the guy I am sharing the most vulnerable parts of myself with and share my true feelings with him then I don’t see the point in having them in my life.

I had another date with this handsome Man named Cracker. Cracker was telling me that he wasn’t enjoying on line dating and that he wasn’t having much luck. He told me he felt like he was in a catalogue.  I don’t know what he meant by this because I appreciated  him as  a man and as a sex object . Kidding. Attraction and sex is everywhere now and so easy for everyone to find, but a true connection with someone is much harder to come by. We had so much fun paddle boarding on our first date, afterwards he brought me back to his place and made me dinner. I had a lot of laughs with him, we made plans to continue seeing each other  but then he turned cold. I was really busy with school and Maybe Cracker was frustrated with me because I was so over loaded with school and work? I don’t know but it really doesn’t matter. I don’t want anyone who doesn’t really want to be here anyway. I could tell he was really heart broken from his past relationship still, and he was really hung up on his Ex so that was a dead end anyway. Good experiences that ended in disasters. I am kissing frogs.

Then straight from the depths of hell came Gringo St.Claire. Where do I begin with this one. I decided to take a break from my school work one evening to unwind. I get a notification that Gringo likes me. For some reason I really hesitated with accepting his request. It’s like my spidey senses just knew something was wrong but I doubted myself. I started to question myself and I wondered if I was being overly critical of  him for no reason. I should have trusted my instincts. Me and Gringo start texting. The boring pleasantries began. Gringo is from Peru originally so I’m not sure why I am calling him Gringo St. Claire but the name amuses me. I am really busy with school during this time so I need for there to be a solid common ground and  connection between us because I don’t have a lot of free time. I have to use my time wisely because finishing  School is really important to me.

I want to know quickly if meeting him is worth it so I ask Gringo what he is looking for.” I am looking for a lot” Gringo says. Are you sure You want to know? He continues. No Gringo, I am here for my health bud. What’s with the mystery ? ” Are you ready “? Gringo says, followed by a really long Pause. What is with this dramatic moment of silence? Are we honouring the dead ? Is he trying to intimidate me?  I could care less  If  I meet his expectations or not. Spit it out Gringo so we can either meet or I can get back to my peaceful evening. Then finally after the long intermission he makes his grand entrance back into the conversation and finally reveals the big mystery of what he is looking for. Readers are you ready? Gringo wants  a women with a big heart who is loyal, confident, someone who is positive and is trust worthy, zzzzzzz (falling asleep) ,and the list goes on. Gringo wrote a novel. I assumed, which was my first mistake, that if this guy has set up a long list of qualities he is looking for in someone else then he must have these same wonderful qualities within himself also. There is no way you’re going to create such a dramatic presentation on what you are looking for in a person and then not match in those same qualities. Right? Wrong. For some reason I just pictured Gringo giving me a power point presentation on what he is looking for. Ok I am back. I have learned the hard way that I need to stop assuming and maybe be careful when giving people the benefit of the doubt. I seemed to have Passed Gringos extensive screening process for what he is looking for and he asks if he can call me.

Gringo tells me about his healing journey within himself  and he is fascinated about how the body can heal itself. I truly believe the body has an incredible ability to heal itself too and this topic interests me. Gringo shares with me an experience he’s had in the past where he healed his body from an illness. I loved hearing  about his experience  and I agreed with a lot of his views.  We both learned that we have read the same books on healing and now I am excited that we are talking! If you have a  positive mindset that is compatible with the person you are walking with in life then that is a very strong partnership . You can get though anything together. I was really excited to get together to learn and talk more with him

We have a date ! I tell him I would love to go for a walk. I love going for walks and I was really looking forward to getting outside in Nature. My head had been in the books because I had been working really hard with school, some fun company and great conversation felt like a great way to end a really busy week.

Gringo and I met and everything felt comfortable. we greeted each other very naturally with a hug and kiss on the cheek which was very sweet. It was beautiful day outside and we were really getting along well, I learned a lot about him that day. He has definitely been through a lot in his life and I could see he was genuinely trying to learn and grow as a person. He had been really putting effort  in learning from his mistakes and in making a better life for himself and I really respect that in a person. Being a victim and blaming  people for where we are in life is the easy route. We all play the victim at some point in our lives and that is ok. Especially if we get really hurt, we need to allow ourselves the time to grieve and sit with the hard feelings. Allowing  ourselves the time to feel bad and acknowledge the hurtful experience is very healthy . It is just not good to live in victimhood permanently. Victimhood will rob us of the good life that we deserve to have. The person who wronged us wins because not only did they waste our energy by being in our lives, but now the past has a hold on us because of what they did to us. Holding on to anger will rob us of positive life experiences that we can have if we choose to move forward. Don’t drink that poison.

It takes a lot of courage and strength to face our fears, insecurities and to take responsibly for ourselves. People who take responsibility for themselves are the ones you can grow with. Being able to grow with someone is one thing I am looking for in a person. The thought of just existing  and wasting away to me is tragic. I consider myself to be a student of life that wants to experience life to the fullest, and I would love to have a great person by my side to share and experience life with.  Everything seemed good on our date so far. Gringo and I were having fun, we both enjoyed talking about life but my instincts were going off that something was wrong and it really confused me. My logical mind didn’t see what was yet to come.

Gringo was becoming a bit too touchy feely for me , it would have been fine if we knew each other better but he was a stranger. Stranger Danger.  I had to slow things down. I explained to him that I wanted to work on a friendship first. I feel like a broken record at this point. I  don’t want to move forward intimately until we learn to be good friends and until we learn how to treat each other good. Nothing is more detrimental to my wellbeing than being intimate with a man who doesn’t know how to treat me right and who I don’t have a true friendship with. That is too lonely for me and taking my time is necessary for my wellbeing. It takes time to learn whether someone will be there for you. Will they stick with you when things go wrong? or will they leave you when you really need someone to be there?  In the past I have moved faster than I normally do because I really believed I had a friendship with the person I was with and in the end they were not a true friend. Taking my time is the only way to ensure I am going to be with someone who is going to care about me. My priority is to my wellbeing over being with someone.

We leave on a good note and he says he is excited to see me again. Gringo wants to give us a chance and he wants to see things through. He tells me we can grow together and learn about life together. He was saying all the right things but something was off. I had a nice time with him and loved the park he took me too. I loved his Dog so much, maybe a bit more than I liked him. His dog was so sweet and playful and he was getting annoyed that I was paying more attention to his dog at times than to him. All dogs go to heaven 🙂 Something with Gringo just wasn’t sitting right with me. My instincts were screaming that something was wrong. Why am I feeling the need to run ? I really did enjoy the conversations we had so I wasn’t going to write him off just yet but our future together was not looking bright. I have learned that you can relate to someone really well as friends on a friendship level but once you are getting to know someone on an intimate level that is whole different story. Now we are met with each others wounds, insecurities, fears  and past traumas. It is an entangled mess.

Gringo Texts me when I get home. I am thinking his Text would be a nice message saying it was nice to meet me which would have been so sweet. Instead I am close lined with him telling me that he feels like he is in high school again and that he touched himself when he got home. Are you serious? Gringo! remember that time I told you I wanted to build a friendship first? Good Talk. I don’t care what anyone says, chivalry is obviously not dead. I didn’t want to make him feel bad so I reminded him that I wanted to take things slow. His text really wasn’t sitting right with me and he kept on crossing a boundary. I wasn’t trying to be cute or play hard to get, I was being very real with him about wanting to move at a slow pace. I think he thought It was funny to try and get me to move forward with him sexually. He carried the attitude like you know you want it type of approach. Vomit. That was a mistake

Gringo apologized. He tells me he  doesn’t want to cross the line with me and that he is sorry. He tells me that you have to be careful with who you exchange energy with and that you shouldn’t do that with just anyone. Thanks Tips, Now can we stay on the same page please?  Gringo then decided that the next best step for us was to ask me a spicy question. He says “Ok Mami, I am sorry but can I ask you a spicy question”? I am not hard up or closed off  about sex but I don’t know him to be this way with him. Here comes Gringos spicy question. Insert Long Pause for dramatic affect. Just kidding he didn’t hold a long pause on this one. “Do you Swallow”? he asks. What !?? Of all the questions he wants to know about me after our first date and this is the million dollar question? Also, why did I answer him? “No” I tell him .What on Gods green earth is going on ? what is happening? For someone who is scared to be vulnerable I have come a long way. See what I did there?  I think sex is very important in a relationship. I am not closed to the idea of phone sex especially since I travel for a living. I get it but come on now!!!  I feel violated and I have contributed to my own violation by answering him. Gringo then shares with me that he is touching himself again for the second time! It was important to Gringo for me to know he is in the process of touching himself again as we speak. What a loser. I Didn’t feel pressured or did I feel obligated to join him . I also in no way shape or form felt turned on by this insanity and it became clear to me that what I needed did not matter to him at all.

I feel like a lot of guys mistaken my kindness for weakness and a lot of times when guys test me things usually go sideways afterwards because they don’t see me for the person I am, so they read me wrong. He would not have even tried this stunt if he saw me for who I was as a person. Gringo used to have issues with sex and on our walk when I slowed his affections down he played the sympathy card. Telling me he is finally able to feel more free and now I am stopping him. Red Flag. I took that comment as a joke but I guess I should have told him to smarten up. Should I have started speaking to Gringo in Portuguese? Or In sign Language ?This man is exhausting. Maybe I should just start telling people off more?

I know men are testy because there is always a part of them that will always be testy like little children, but nothing pisses me off more than a man who tests me to see how far he can cross the line with me. I am not interested in people in my life in any capacity who are on the take. I think we are all testy on some level. If I am testing a Man It is usually a test to see if he really cares about me. I don’t test people to see how far I can take advantage of them. Life is easy when you are feeling good and when you are in a good place. Its when you are down on your luck that the sharks come in for the kill. I need to know that the person I am with wants the best for me and wont kick me or leave me when I am down. When I am down in life and need support I don’t need  a man who is a taker in my corner.

Unfortunately my guard is usually up , and very rarely does it come down. If my guard has to be up with the person who is by my side than I would rather be on my own. I have been treated so badly thorough out my life so there are many times I don’t notice right away that I am being tested but I figure it out after wards. I think because I don’t realize I am being tested men read me wrong and mistaken my response or lack of a response as a green light to mistreat me. If you want to test me to see how far you can cross the line with me then just keep walking towards the exit sign because that is where you will end up. I have no time for bullshit.

I tell Gringo that I can see he is very busy right now on the second round of his late night missions and that I will let him go for the evening. I don’t have time to deal with this nonsense. I had a busy morning coming up and this was not worth staying up for. He gave me a very firm and cold good bye and I could care less if he was mad at me. Why are these men always mad at me ? Whatever.  I went to bed feeling molested. For some reason describing this experience as feeling molested made me die of laughter. Where did his common sense go? He seemed like an intelligent person. My guess is that if he is behaving this way with no awareness of how ridiculous he was behaving , then his behaviour must be working for him. Knowing this makes this the perfect opportunity to vomit in itself.

The next day Gringo tells me he had such a great time with me. He told me he really learned a lot from me and he thought a lot about the things I shared with him. I believe that Gringo was really going through some great personal growth. It takes a really strong and brave person to look within themselves to heal. It is not easy facing the things that scare you or that cause you pain within yourself.  I respect a persons courage to grow so they can make their life better. Personal growth stems from living in hell. When the pain of  your life becomes greater than the pain of having to face yourself, that is when you are forced to grow. No one chooses this path voluntarily. This is the choice you have to make when you are faced with the option in life to sink or swim. This route is definitely not the easy way but the only way to live if you want to be free from your pain in a healthy way. I could always just turn to a bottle of Jack to escape but that is expensive, and distracting yourself eventually catches up with you. You can only run for so long. Gringo needs to go, he was only interested in himself, and I didn’t find his behaviour to be cute. I had no voice and he didn’t want to respect what was important to me. When someone disrespects me that is the same to me as saying  that they could care less whether I live or die and that I don’t matter. I had to ask him repeatedly to stop with the advances and he didn’t care. It’s not like he was offering me a job promotion to make it worth it. Kidding. I was not in good hands with Gringo and he needed to be neutered.

I wasn’t sure how to respond to Gringo the next day when he reached out to me. Even though I lost complete interest in being with him romantically, I still respected that he was really trying to heal, improve and grow. I didn’t want to do anything to hurt that part of him and I wanted to handle him with care. I had a busy work day and  Gringo must have become upset that I didn’t respond to his texts right away. I didn’t mean to leave him hanging, I was busy at work and I wanted to make sure I delivered my message to him effectively and I really don’t like small talk. After some time in the day he started messaging me from the dating App we were both on instead of texting me. I guess he was trying to scare me by letting me know he was on the dating App again. I was not scared or hurt at the thought of him talking to another women, it’s a free country. If any women can take a man away from me then she can have him. A man who is really interested in me and/or  cares about me would never put me in a position like that, I don’t need a backstabber in my life.  What is with these fear tactics? His dating approach was dumb.

I told Gringo that he should be proud of himself and his progress in life.I wanted him to know I felt he was strong and brave for facing himself and I respected that about him. I told him that he was leading with Sex and I am not moving in that same direction. He told me that he was still in a lot of pain with what he was going through.I sensed there was a big possibility  he wanted to use sex to escape from his pain. I am not interested in healing anyone or fixing someone. If we end up healing each other naturally because of a true connection then that Is a beautiful thing. I obviously want to love and care for my man but I am not the Lord and saviour Jesus Christ. There was no place for me here because he didn’t see me or care about what I needed . I’m Outtie.

Growing up was really hard for me. My father died very suddenly when I was 15 years old  on Christmas Morning. The Doctors could not tell us how he passed away, they told us they were working on an autopsy and that they would get back to us. My mother phoned the hospital everyday and they would tell us they were still waiting for the test results. On the third day after my Dads funeral the hospital denied they had any idea about our request to complete an autopsy. We have no idea how my father died so suddenly, all they gave us were the possibilities on what they assume might have happened to him. My Dad was my best buddy, he was the best and we loved each other very much. Everyone loved being around my Dad, he was always making people laugh. Laughter for me is one way I get to keep my father alive within me. My father and I were partners in crime who were always laughing and up to no good together. He always wanted the best for me and he would always make sure I had a smile on my face. I would come home from school miserable and if there was not a smile on my face when he would say hello to me then he would not leave me alone until he made me smile and laugh. Once he finally accomplished his mission to make me smile he would say “that is better” and then he would walk away and carry on about his day. That is when I will know I have found the right man for me, when the smile on my face stays lit.

After my father died I was thrown into the wild and raised by wolves. I really didn’t have anyone love me the way he did after that. At 17 years old I was told I was a messed up kid and I really was. I was very depressed and although I was surrounded by people, I was alone. Thankfully I met an amazing therapist named Kate who helped me get my life back together again. Kate was all I had as a kid. She raised me and if it wasn’t for her I would not be here today. After all the beatings I have taken in this life I should not still be standing here today. The love my Dad had for me convinced me that life was not supposed to be miserable. The belief  that my Dad had in me as a person gave me the drive and dedication to fight for a better life for myself. No one was coming to save me. If it wasn’t for my father believing in me I don’t think I would have believed that life could be better for myself. My world fell apart really badly after he died. For years I drove every week into Downtown Toronto in rush hour to see Kate and she would teach me about life. She taught me valuable life skills that I never would have learned in the environment that I came from. Kate was so loving, patient and kind to me. I felt misunderstood by teachers, Adults, boyfriends and so called friends. People whom society says are supposed to love and care for you did not love and care for me. I was seen as a troubled teen who was too far gone and the expectation was I would end up dead or in Jail. My Principal told me not to come back to high school after I graduate to complete grade 13 for cosmetology, that it would just be better if I leave. I guess she didn’t like my company in her office twice a week? or sometimes every day? I felt like were just starting to connect? Rude. Kate saw through my pain and she didn’t see me as a bad kid. I truly believed it was because she cared about me that I made it. Even when I became strong I had the will and dedication to continue seeing Kate because I loved learning about life from her and wanted so much to build a great life for myself . She was all that I had and her lessons helped me to save myself from the horrible life I was experiencing.

When Kate died I hit rock bottom again and I had to fight for my life once more. Although Kate supported me she never told me what to do. I was surrounded by people who didn’t care about me all that much if at all and I didn’t realize it. I loved many of these people so much and many were people who I considered my family at the time. I just wanted to make my life work with these people but I didn’t see how bad they were for me. It  was the only life I knew. Once Kate Died all the haters moved in on me and the beatings started again. My Body gave out on me and I was hospitalized. I broke down because I couldn’t handle all the abuse and loss I was dealing with all at the same time. The doctors wrote me off and told me I would never become healthy enough to work again. The Hospital  gave me forms to fill out for me to collect compensation since they thought I could no longer work and they told me to pack it in. I was taking Brazilian  jujitsu classes throughout my life and when I became strong enough again to attend class I brought my forms into class and shared the news of what the doctors told me with my teacher. He asked me if he could see the forms and he ripped them up, looked at me in my face and said ” Go get a job “, so that’s what I did. The haters were very quiet while I was doing well, but then once they saw I was down again the put downs, manipulations, gossip, backstabbing and hurtful actions began once more. I blamed myself the first time my life fell apart but the second time around I truly saw how horrible my environment was. Life was harder than it needed to be because I was surrounded by the wrong people,  I wish I had seen and understood sooner the kind of damage this can cause. I was able to pull out of this hell again because of everything Kate taught me. All I have in my heart are my Dads words that he wants me to do my best, and Kate’s teachings. Kate believed in me when no one else did. Her lessons help me to this day. Where in this story does it make sense that I end up with a man who mistreats me and doesn’t appreciate me? Where does it make sense that I am here to be available to a man at his convenience and that I don’t matter ? Being really selective about who I walk with in life is not about me thinking I am better than anyone, this is about my quality of life. To settle on someone in any relationship dynamic in my life is a disrespect to the heart that Kate put into me. If I let people trample all over my life than Me and Kate were for nothing and My Dad would be rolling in his grave.

I worked so hard to build a good life for myself while going through hell. I am not sitting here thinking that I am Gods gift to the world and that I think I am better than anyone. I am fully aware that there are women a lot smarter, prettier and funnier than me. What I am saying is that no one, no matter how much I care for a person gets to come here and disrespect my lessons that I had with Kate and disrespect my Dads wish for me to be my best. I live by their words and teachings. I have the right to be happy and be treated right because I treat people good. So If I end up alone because I am not putting up with bullshit then I am ok with that. I think I have built meaningful life for myself that Kate and My Dad can be proud of.

These fear Tactics men use are ridiculous. Seems when men don’t get their way they start to think they can hold affections or hold the false promise of commitment over your head. If someone thinks they can hold a relationship over my head and dangle the carrot as bait then they are oblivious to the fact that they are at the wrong address with me. Even if I love the person I will choose to die inside and let them go before I ever let anyone think they can use me as their puppet on a string. The way I see it is If you’re stuck in an unfortunate situation like this with a person you really care for then either way you are going to die inside. You will die slowly if you stay in an unhealthy and unloving situation or you can die by pulling out of the relationship and bleeding out. the second option leaves you to grieve in a healthy way and move towards taking healthy steps forward in caring for yourself. Throw yourself back into the wild and give yourself the space to heal and rebuild a better life for yourself . Throwing yourself back into the wild can be very scary but the freedom is exciting. If you lean into the fear and let the parts of you that broke fall away, you will find a strength within you that you never thought you had. It feels like you’re going to die but if you nurture your wellbeing during this process I promise you that you won’t . I have died so many times in this life and I am still standing. God only takes the good ones anyway so I am not too worried. That would explain why I am still here. That feeling of being free from needing anything from a person you deeply care for  who doesn’t care about you in return is the most beautiful and empowering feeling. The freedom is exhilarating . The first option to stay will destroy you more long term as a person and the wound will cut deep because of the length of time you stayed. There is more time to do real damage. That is why I don’t ever want to get used to the slightest form of  being mistreated because then the mistreatment becomes normal and only gets worse over time. I have better things to do with my life than to become accustomed to being treated bad. I already suffer from Complex PTSD because of all the mistreatment I have been through. Thanks for the offer but I have a life to live, go be disrespectful some place else.

If you are used to be treated badly like I have been and question if you are being mistreated by someone, imagine how you would feel if the person you are with would treat one of your loved ones in the same way they are treating  you. What opinion would you hold of  someone if they were to treat your Brother, sister, Nephew or Daughter the same way this person in question is treating you? This perspective is helpful and usually helps you to see the answers more clearly. Sometimes we don’t see right away that we are being mistreated by someone because we have become so used to being treated badly. Don’t look for your worth in someone else because then you will only be as great as they tell you that you are and that is no way to live. We define our own worth and We make the rules for ourselves. Don’t allow anyone else to hold the pen in their hand to your life story because the person who writes the story about your life is you. Who cares about the opinions of disrespectful people, they are no better than anyone else. We don’t need their approval or validation . We can give that approval and validation to ourselves. Respect is not a big ask when you are a kind and respectful person. Respect is the bare minimum someone can give you in a healthy relationship.  It is better to be happy alone than to walk with the wrong person for you. Always remember true happiness starts from within. The right people in your life will add on to your happiness, but they are not the source of where your happiness comes from. Don’t make your life harder by sharing it with people who don’t deserve you.

After I got out of the horrible place I came from I travelled the world. Everyone I knew was getting married and I had no interest in doing that. I had been in two very serious long term relationships where both wanted to get married but Marriage terrified me. While everyone was getting married, I got my wings. Getting into the travel industry was such a rush of excitement for me because for years I got to escape into my travels. For once I was finally free and outside of myself. It was the best feeling and still is to this day to not care about what time or day it is. Being in the moment experiencing this beautiful world was a dream come true for me. Experiencing people, cultures, history, and amazing food. I have knocked off so many of my bucket list items of places I wanted to experience , life was finally working out for me. I had a permanent smile on my face from the excitement that came with travelling and the laughs were endless. I stayed away from relationships for the longest time because I loved not having anyone close to me hurting me or making me feel bad. I held such a horrible outlook on relationships and getting close to people. I felt so robbed of a life that I didn’t want to lose anymore of my life by becoming close with people again, I was so closed off. I met men along the way but things would just drop off and I really didn’t care about  walking closely with anyone in life at that time. Dealing with so much loss and death I wanted to learn how to be happy on my own. If I can learn happiness on my own than no one can take that from me, that didn’t leave much time to allow men close to me. I felt like relationships were a prison and I valued freedom more. So now I am having fun with this idea of maybe meeting the right man. I remain detached and focused on living in the present moment . Through writing I some how feel connected to Kate. It is as if I have found a way to talk to her directly again.I just graduated school for hypnotherapy,  in helping people I hope I can be successful at passing along the lessons Kate has taught me on to others. Through Hypnotherapy I can keep Kate alive in the same way  laughter lets my Dad live on through me. I miss Kate and My Dad so much so this Piece I write for them. To K Dog and my Dad, I promise I will never settle !! It is better to walk alone than to be poorly accompanied.  As for Gringo St. Claire , Keep your eye on the puck bud and don’t pull the goalie. Farewell Gringo, Nope !